Eng.

I lived by the sea and yet I felt terribly depressed.

In an attempt to quiet the relentless flow of thoughts that was pulling me further under, the pulsograms began to emerge. Drawings in which each line is an exercise in single-minded attention: trying to make it identical to the previous one, remaining in the present.

For the first time, I was making something that was not photography, and I was not ready to accept it. I needed to return to familiar ground, to a place where I could stand firmly.

I photographed each pulsogram and processed it digitally using presets I had developed over the years. I allowed chance to move through every possible combination and accepted the final result exactly as it appeared.

Once again, I could breathe.

Each diptych brings together two ways of relating to reality: concentration, embodied in the pulsograms, and chance, embodied in the Incessantly series.

Two opposing strategies for navigating anxiety. Two ways of inhabiting the same reality.